Mother’s Day has been hard since we unexpectedly lost my husband’s mother in 1984. It worsened when I lost my step-mother (the step-mother I liked) 30 years later. Since my Aunt who raised me, and in the space of 10 short years gifted me with a moral center, has passed (3 years ago) I have had a miserable time of this holiday. I never realized how much thought, love and appreciation went into preparing for Mother’s Day until I lost all focus of the day.
Some of us were blessed with good mothers, some of us were cursed with bad or indifferent mothers. Some of us lost our birth mothers before we knew them. Whichever your mother was to you, (somewhere in between?), whichever your mother was to you the relationship between mother and child is profoundly complex.
I vowed to be original content only on my blog but Mother’s Day is a day of loss for both of us here in the dunes. Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess, captured the feeling of it perfectly. (She’s gifted and works hard and more people should be reading her anyway.):
Me? The scar of loosing my ‘Mama’ is still white hot and I cannot talk of it. She loved my gardens. She would have loved this double tulip posted at the top of the thread. I would have sent her the same bulbs knowing full well they would not have made it to blossom in the front range of Colorado but that trying would have brought her joy.