A Day for Remembering Mothers

Sun Lover, early double tulip

Mother’s Day has been hard since we unexpectedly lost my husband’s mother in 1984. It worsened when I lost my step-mother (the step-mother I liked) 30 years later. Since my Aunt who raised me, and in the space of 10 short years gifted me with a moral center, has passed (3 years ago) I have had a miserable time of this holiday. I never realized how much thought, love and appreciation went into preparing for Mother’s Day until I lost all focus of the day.

Some of us were blessed with good mothers, some of us were cursed with bad or indifferent mothers. Some of us lost our birth mothers before we knew them. Whichever your mother was to you, (somewhere in between?), whichever your mother was to you the relationship between mother and child is profoundly complex.

I vowed to be original content only on my blog but Mother’s Day is a day of loss for both of us here in the dunes. Jackie, The Baseball Bloggess, captured the feeling of it perfectly. (She’s gifted and works hard and more people should be reading her anyway.):


Me? The scar of loosing my ‘Mama’ is still white hot and I cannot talk of it. She loved my gardens. She would have loved this double tulip posted at the top of the thread. I would have sent her the same bulbs knowing full well they would not have made it to blossom in the front range of Colorado but that trying would have brought her joy.

Published by dunelight


11 thoughts on “A Day for Remembering Mothers

  1. I never would have guessed that’s a tulip. Camelia maybe. I’m not great with flowers, but I have noted a few tulips around here. I read you are going sailing later today and that sounds wonderful. So much more fun than the chilly, wet day we’re supposed to have here. Be happy today. Celebrate life.

    1. Isn’t it amazing? It looks like a ranuncula. When I bought bulbs I often bought double so I could send some up to my Auntie who raised me in the Front Range. The Front Range is not kind to these Holland grown types of bulbs.

      The winds picked up and it’s still chilly. We decided against a sail…our aging, aching backsides…but will likely hang out on the boat while listening to NPR streaming by phone while trying to fix the radio. It’s all good.

      1. Es ist ein sehr berührender Bericht über die Verluste der Menschen, die einem so wichtig waren und die für einen die “richtige” Mutter – wie sie sein sollte – waren, egal ob leibliche Mütter oder andere Personen. Meine Mutter hatte solch ein hartes Leben: 2. Weltkrieg, Flucht, Vertreibung, Armut, einen egoistischen Mann und drei Kinder, für die sie ihr Leben geopfert hätte. Ich kenne auch andere “Mütter”, die sie rührend um vernachlässigte Kinder kümmern, die zu bewundern sind. (Deshalb habe ich auch einen Blogbeitrag dazu geschrieben).
        Die Bilder vom Segelboot sind sehr schön für mich, obwohl wir schon recht alt sind, haben wir immer noch ein Segelboot.
        Eine wunderschöne Tulpe, ich muss auch immer wieder welche fotografieren, wenn ich diese Schönheiten sehe.
        Alles Gute und liebe Grüße

  2. Thank you so much for sharing my post. It’s such a warm feeling to think my mother and I touched someone else’s heart. I have also learned that most mother’s transfer their worrying gene to their daughters. I feel a little bit better about my own worrying now (and am greatly relieved the Chinese rocket space debris didn’t land on me in the night).

    Thank you for sharing your stories and beautiful photos here on your site. Your art makes my heart happy.

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