Lens-Artist Challenge #145 Getting to Know You

I took this as a prompt to share ourselves with photos. It’s wordy. (I need the practice. To my credit there is one selfie.)

I have been called ‘singular’ in that while I sometimes tried to blend with others (hire me, pick me, cast me, like me), most of my life I have been indifferent to fitting in. Most of my life, no, I’m still here, ALL of my life, I have been too fascinated by, curious about, distracted by and geeked about, well, Lord help me, EVERYthing, that I’ve never cared much for social constructs. Eeeeeyeah..that caused problems…no..that still causes problems. Eh. We all cause the majority of our problems.

Here I am in 1988 at 31ish? Youth.

I Did Not ‘Do’ 80’s Hair or Makeup

There are many things I’ve loved and lost. I loved winter. Boy howdy, it does not love me back. It’s not that I cannot ski, sled or skate now, or that I’m old enough to hear the death knell of that icy front step, it’s that if I do not get enough sunlight my immune system views my eyes as suspect characters. I imagine it is all part of intelligent design but I’m not intelligent enough to understand why this particular design.

A Cautious Christmas 2010 Chicago

I loved my first career in the performing arts. After the first brain surgery I loved my second career in arts education. After the second brain surgery I learned to love other things.

I miss dancing. I miss acting, I miss playing bass, I miss singing, I miss teaching, I miss doing all those things professionally but I just plain miss the joy, peace, zen, it all, of all those things.

Your world and dreams get smaller. You learn to value other things. I am grateful there are a lot of other things.

I still participate in arts, mostly visual. I have sold photos in galleries and I enjoy community arts, public arts, just plain arts, national politics, history, oh, and a good baseball game. God Bless Baseball. Although all my plays have been set on their feet and seen performance I can honestly say some of them should never have left my laptop.

Partaking in a Community Arts Project

I think I was 50 when I said to myself, “Dayum, girl, what are you waiting for?! Yes, pro boogie boards are expensive but you’re never getting younger. Do it!”

I did it. I bought good boards and I had a couple of excellent summers carving waves. The memories are mine…for as long as I can hold on to them. Disability/Injury/Surgery kept me off Lake Michigan the past three summers. It will be summer again. I still have my boards.

I think I was 57 when I said to myself, “Dayum, girl, what are you waiting for?! Yes, you will look foolish. Yes, they want young, able bodied, MALE sailors, but if you want to learn sailing, eat your pride, curb your temper, hide your wit and just do it.”

I did it. I’m still learning. I will never stop learning. I will never know it all.

Driving the Bus During a Race

I love a good trip to an unknown city, alone or with others. But. At the end of the day if I can’t be in the woods by myself or on the beach by myself or on the water, or have a creative outlet, I will go stark raving mad. I have always needed my quiet time.

I love my husband. I love my brothers..my family..my excellent friends..my cats..my flowers…I love life. But I get so tired and that makes me cranky. God bless the people who just wait till I have rested and worked that snit right out.

The past couple years I have been taking a lot of selfies. It’s not vanity. I left vanity behind in the 90’s. Physics tell me I must add heat if I’m going to control entropy. As my body spins out of control it is a way to assure myself I’m still there, inside somewhere, dealing with entropy.

Hat Hair After an Outdoor Shoot

I love to mark the changes of the seasons as the Big Wheel turns. I love to celebrate the holidays of those seasons. I love to celebrate those holidays, sometimes by dressing up and getting silly because life is hard, baby, and none of us get out alive. The Big Wheel it turns with us and without us. Might as well get on and enjoy the ride.

This post is dedicated to my husband. I did volunteer work yesterday, organized volunteers, got it done but I overdid, got too tired to deal with pain and had a snit. He abides.

#Lens-Artists Challenge

Published by dunelight


42 thoughts on “Lens-Artist Challenge #145 Getting to Know You

  1. A beautiful, inspirational post. ❀️ I love your positive vibes, keep them rolling like the waves of Lake Michigan continue to do! Keep the faith! I pray your summer is nothing but spectacular. πŸ™

  2. A hello and a smile from Peru, Kim : ) I recall the first time I got a challenge about myself, I know it was complicated to say something meaningful in a post. If you felt the same I cannot say, but I can say that I always appreciate your honesty, reading you in each post is really knowing you. The smile in your selfies has the happiness of your words about the light and the lake.

    1. This was hard to write. I might take up my doctors and physical therapists’ idea of ‘you should write a book’ to help others, especially the newly handicapped.

      1. It is a book whose first pages we have partially read here, As hard as it was to glimpse through your words what you were facing there is so much happiness in seeing you back, Kim. I know for a fact that I am not the only one.

      2. Thank you so much for your kind words. I did not post for such long stretches of time as each new injury brought bitterness and anger and the world has enough of that. I now I know it was nothing I did or choices I made but that God had decided I would carry this disease long before I was born. That, that was a hard thing to know.

      1. Love it, change it, or leave it. Some things in ones can’t be changed and you never want to leave life completely. So, learn and train to love your disabilities, they spice up your life. It’s the same for me. My daughter and I are suffering from the same disease. While I learnt to live with it, she’s often bitter about it although it has in general only a minor impact on her/my life. When focusing on a disease, disability, or illness, your allowing it to rule your life. I don’t want to get ruled. Great, you also don’t want that in your life. πŸ‘

      2. It is tough to play out the hand of cards God dealt. It is all in the mind. You have learned to consciously be happy. Many people have not/can not learn how to do that.

        I have my bitter days…watching people dance at a wedding is tough. Watching others work in my first career is tough. (Envy and Jealousy and Loss and Bitterness).

        I cannot change my disease as you cannot change yours, we adjust our minds and open our hearts to other things. I’m sorry your daughter is still at the bitterness stage. It is hard and requires mental toughness.

  3. Reading this I feel like we have some similarities. I’ve spent a good deal of my time looking into social gatherings from the edge. Not entirely happy to join in, happy enough to mostly just observe. I love to watch life and now take photos, lots of photos. I take the odd selfie but it’s to take a record of myself in time and, well, sometimes just for childish fun with my partner – nothing more. A lovely post which I enjoyed reading, thank you.

  4. I am very delighted to meet you. You are a very brave person, open hearted, brave, full of life, a unique character… Your post is the best I read for a very long time.

      1. I did take a long walk through the University Quarter of Munich yesterday. Because I have a very rare type of muscular dystrophy I had to take a rest today. But I did spend some time on my sunny balcony, and I’m joyfully looking forward to make a fine tour through the large Park of Nymphenburg Castle tomorrow. πŸ˜‰

      2. The more I think of your walk…we are all different in our handicaps. With MD it is your muscles, with me it is the collagen in connective tissues and…well..everywhere in my body. We neither one have a good prognosis. There is today. ❀

      3. But what we still have is the opportunity to make every day to something special. Every day is a miracle, a birthday present, because every day is birthday. πŸ˜‰

    1. Thank you. Sharing/admitting this much, even with myself, is hard enough. As activities become harder I need to step up advocating for my fellow handicapped. I’ve plan to work towards erasing the stigma.

  5. I am glad that we connected and look forward to many conversations that are waiting for our arrival. Your writing is profound, honest and inspiring. Your thoughts and follow-up discussion resonated.

    1. Thank you. Seriously, writing is hard. Reliving the specifics of the subject matter is painful, but editing, editing is excruciating. “Kill your darlings.” is profound advice. I do need to create/recreate art, that artistic urge turns inward and becomes destructive if it does not have an outlet through performance or the act of creating. My life is such that writing and photography is what is left.
      It is a bit difficult to explore our inner selves. I need a push from peers. Thanks!

  6. A very inspirational post. Thank you so much for sharing this. I look forward to this strength and positivity in my own life. Something to aspire to πŸ™‚

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